How Much Is That Daddy In The Window?

Wow, ya'll! It's been a long time since I've signed in here...so many opportunities, so little time.

Tonite another dinner conversation went way off course. I don't know how it happens. It all starts off with the basics mixed with a little playful banter then suddenly we're in a downward spiral. Sometimes I'm honestly not sure if it's hilarious or downright horrible. At any rate, I'm pretty sure it's not the average discussion taking place around dinner tables. I promise it's not always like this, but tonight's was a doozy!

So we rush in from TaeKwonDo and the boys change straight into pajama's since bedtime is rapidly approaching anyway. We sat down to eat a yummy dinner of spaghetti, meatballs, garlic toast, salad, etc. As soon as the prayer is over, Isaac wants his pasta cut up. Moments later Grant is spinning his pasta around a fork. It strikes me that Grant eats pasta like me. Isaac, on the other hand, prefers to eat his pasta just like his Daddy, even though he couldn't possibly remember. It still amazes me when I see little things that Brian isn't here to teach the boys but it's just wired into them. Of course I proceeded to tell them about their Daddy and how he preferred his spaghetti and as usual was pelted with an arsenal of questions. So many of their questions really make me stop and consider. The questions they ask aren't so much about the specific details of Brian and the things he said or did but more of his nature and character. Since Grant likes to eat spaghetti by twirling it around a fork and I told them I used to break up the pasta for their Daddy and he still cut it up, Grant wanted to know if he would get to eat long pasta he could twirl if his Daddy was here. The answer, without a doubt, "Of course!" I know Brian would love to see them happy and would glady forfeit his broken pasta for Grant to twirl his. Sometimes those what would Daddy think or what would Daddy do questions hardly require a thought. Often, even without the experience of having him here to make those decisions, I can confidently tell the boys what their Daddy was like, what he would have done and why.

Some days it's just a fleeting question or a brief thought. Other days it's hard to turn the tide once the waves of thoughts and questions come rushing in. Tonite would have been easy if it had stopped with how Daddy ate spaghetti and how he would want the boys to. But no, it doesn't stop there. Then we go on to how they miss Daddy and as always, I let them know I miss him too. They wish he were here, didn't have to die, etc., me too and so on. Then the spiral really begins... and rapidly!

I'm just noting me or boys to keep this next part more readable. It was really so rapid fire with sentences started by one kid and finished by the other plus random interjections along the way that I can't say specifically who said what. Here's the basic content...

boys: We really should have a daddy here with us.
(crickets chirping)
boys: Mommy, don't you think we should have a daddy here with us?
me: (whistling, to myself, in my head)
boys: Why doesn't somebody sell daddies for people who don't have one and need one?
me: (ughhh) Well guys...
boys: I bet they do sell daddies somewhere! Maybe we could buy a daddy! Mommy can you buy a daddy for us?
me: Well, um, guys...
boys: There have got to be daddies you can buy!
me: Well, really...umm... some daddies can be bought but those aren't the kind that are really worth having.
boys: You can buy a daddy?!!!
me: Well, no, not exactly.
boys: I know! Maybe there are daddies that are tired of their own kids and they just want new ones. Maybe we could find a daddy like that!
me: Well, daddies that get tired of their own kids would probably get tired of someone else's too.
boys: But maybe they are tired of their kids. We could be good and they wouldn't get tired of us!
me: It just really doesn't work that way...
boys: but what if me: (interrupting) Who wants another piece of garlic toast? Anyone want another meatball?!?!?

...and then, thank God, it's over as fast as it started. They're happily eating toast and meatballs while my head is still spinning.

Welcome back to the funny farm! :)

Smarshmallows & Long Sleeved Pants!

Oh, the boys say so many funny things! I could post many times a day, really.

At 5 & 3 1/2 they both have incredible vocabularies for their ages. But there are a couple of things, they just don't get quite right. Nothing terribly outrageous, just a couple things I get a chuckle over.

Today's heavy Spring snow brought about the "need" for a round of hot chocolate. Of course the boys like their chocolate lukewarm and it doesn't even count if marshmallows aren't added! The funny thing is, Grant, who can name an outrageous list of dinosaurs by their full scientific names doesn't say marshmallow right. He says "smarshmallows." Is he capable of saying it right? Of course! Am I about to correct him? No way! :)

Then there's Isaac. Every time the boys are choosing outfits, the first question that comes up is, "Do we need long sleeved or short sleeved shirts?" Most of the last week short sleeves were perfect but the temp dropped yesterday. Although they have been wearing long pants for months now, Isaac's followup question is generally, "Do we need long sleeved pants, too?" Grant will question, "Long sleeved pants?" knowing it's not quite right. However I just answer, "Yes, wear your long sleeved pants!"

Both boys are perfectly capable of correcting these words and learning these concepts. I know it. Sometimes I wonder if I'm being indulgent by not correcting them. I wonder if I buffer some corrections because they've already been through so much. Then I realize with relative certainty that if Brian was still on this side of Heaven, neither one of us would see the need for them to correctly say marshmallows or long pants. We would sit back and giggle to ourselves, together.

They grow up so fast, I think it's important to enjoy them, right where they're at!

Muffins with Moms aka What about Bob?

Today was Muffins with Moms day at the boys preschool. Rather than head straight to work, we all skipped breakfast this morning and I headed to school with the boys and even made it on time, 15 minutes before the start of their regular day. The boys were so glad I could be there and I really was too. Since it was "Muffin Day" for both boys classes, I planned to split these special 30 minutes between the two classes.


During the first 15 minutes I enjoyed a few bites of Isaac's muffin, then wrote our names and doodled a doggy picture on the paper table cloth his teachers had provided for us to draw on. We both could have easily eaten one muffin each but I chose to follow along with the obvious unwritten rule about moms not partaking of whole muffins in front of other moms. Seriously, I didn't see a single mom in either class take more than a pinch or two of their child's muffin. No mom, including myself (for some odd reason) took a muffin for ourselves even though it was obvious by the quantity available that it was intended for everyone to have muffins. It was kind of funny, I find myself very self conscious going into this type of parents event knowing that I am fairly likely to be the only single mom there and definitely likely to be the only widow but apparently the other moms are self conscious too. Apparently so much so that we don't eat muffins!


Anyway, about Bob...

When I got to Grant's class, each child had made a very special gift for their mom. They were really so cute. Somewhere the teacher had found mouse pads with a 2010 calendar as a frame around the edge and a place to insert a picture. The children were given a paper with the Bible verse "Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6 and told to draw a picture of their mom to put in the frame. The assistant teacher in Grant's class shared the conversation with me that she had with Grant as he created his work of art.


Their conversation went something like this:

"Grant, I see that you drew your Mommy, but what is this?"

"It's the ladder for my bunk bed."

"Oh, I see. Are you finished now since you have already drawn your Mommy?"

"No, I've got to draw Bob."

"You've got to draw Bob? Grant, this picture is for your Mommy, you just need to draw her."

"No, Bob's at our house and my mommy likes him. I like Bob too. I need to draw Bob."

Then Grant pulled out a blue crayon and proceeded to draw Bob.

Thankfully, his teacher recognized him as the jello-like character from the movie "Monsters vs. Aliens"!


Sometime I'll have to take a picture of my mousepad and load it here, it really is something else and a very special treasure. It also means a lot to me to know that Grant likes the movie he got for his birthday and treasures the time we spend together snuggled up and watching it. I guess for that reason, we both like "Bob"!