Wow, ya'll! It's been a long time since I've signed in here...so many opportunities, so little time.
Tonite another dinner conversation went way off course. I don't know how it happens. It all starts off with the basics mixed with a little playful banter then suddenly we're in a downward spiral. Sometimes I'm honestly not sure if it's hilarious or downright horrible. At any rate, I'm pretty sure it's not the average discussion taking place around dinner tables. I promise it's not always like this, but tonight's was a doozy!
So we rush in from TaeKwonDo and the boys change straight into pajama's since bedtime is rapidly approaching anyway. We sat down to eat a yummy dinner of spaghetti, meatballs, garlic toast, salad, etc. As soon as the prayer is over, Isaac wants his pasta cut up. Moments later Grant is spinning his pasta around a fork. It strikes me that Grant eats pasta like me. Isaac, on the other hand, prefers to eat his pasta just like his Daddy, even though he couldn't possibly remember. It still amazes me when I see little things that Brian isn't here to teach the boys but it's just wired into them. Of course I proceeded to tell them about their Daddy and how he preferred his spaghetti and as usual was pelted with an arsenal of questions. So many of their questions really make me stop and consider. The questions they ask aren't so much about the specific details of Brian and the things he said or did but more of his nature and character. Since Grant likes to eat spaghetti by twirling it around a fork and I told them I used to break up the pasta for their Daddy and he still cut it up, Grant wanted to know if he would get to eat long pasta he could twirl if his Daddy was here. The answer, without a doubt, "Of course!" I know Brian would love to see them happy and would glady forfeit his broken pasta for Grant to twirl his. Sometimes those what would Daddy think or what would Daddy do questions hardly require a thought. Often, even without the experience of having him here to make those decisions, I can confidently tell the boys what their Daddy was like, what he would have done and why.
Some days it's just a fleeting question or a brief thought. Other days it's hard to turn the tide once the waves of thoughts and questions come rushing in. Tonite would have been easy if it had stopped with how Daddy ate spaghetti and how he would want the boys to. But no, it doesn't stop there. Then we go on to how they miss Daddy and as always, I let them know I miss him too. They wish he were here, didn't have to die, etc., me too and so on. Then the spiral really begins... and rapidly!
I'm just noting me or boys to keep this next part more readable. It was really so rapid fire with sentences started by one kid and finished by the other plus random interjections along the way that I can't say specifically who said what. Here's the basic content...
boys: We really should have a daddy here with us.
(crickets chirping)
boys: Mommy, don't you think we should have a daddy here with us?
me: (whistling, to myself, in my head)
boys: Why doesn't somebody sell daddies for people who don't have one and need one?
me: (ughhh) Well guys...
boys: I bet they do sell daddies somewhere! Maybe we could buy a daddy! Mommy can you buy a daddy for us?
me: Well, um, guys...
boys: There have got to be daddies you can buy!
me: Well, really...umm... some daddies can be bought but those aren't the kind that are really worth having.
boys: You can buy a daddy?!!!
me: Well, no, not exactly.
boys: I know! Maybe there are daddies that are tired of their own kids and they just want new ones. Maybe we could find a daddy like that!
me: Well, daddies that get tired of their own kids would probably get tired of someone else's too.
boys: But maybe they are tired of their kids. We could be good and they wouldn't get tired of us!
me: It just really doesn't work that way...
boys: but what if me: (interrupting) Who wants another piece of garlic toast? Anyone want another meatball?!?!?
...and then, thank God, it's over as fast as it started. They're happily eating toast and meatballs while my head is still spinning.
Welcome back to the funny farm! :)
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Smarshmallows & Long Sleeved Pants!
Oh, the boys say so many funny things! I could post many times a day, really.
At 5 & 3 1/2 they both have incredible vocabularies for their ages. But there are a couple of things, they just don't get quite right. Nothing terribly outrageous, just a couple things I get a chuckle over.
Today's heavy Spring snow brought about the "need" for a round of hot chocolate. Of course the boys like their chocolate lukewarm and it doesn't even count if marshmallows aren't added! The funny thing is, Grant, who can name an outrageous list of dinosaurs by their full scientific names doesn't say marshmallow right. He says "smarshmallows." Is he capable of saying it right? Of course! Am I about to correct him? No way! :)
Then there's Isaac. Every time the boys are choosing outfits, the first question that comes up is, "Do we need long sleeved or short sleeved shirts?" Most of the last week short sleeves were perfect but the temp dropped yesterday. Although they have been wearing long pants for months now, Isaac's followup question is generally, "Do we need long sleeved pants, too?" Grant will question, "Long sleeved pants?" knowing it's not quite right. However I just answer, "Yes, wear your long sleeved pants!"
Both boys are perfectly capable of correcting these words and learning these concepts. I know it. Sometimes I wonder if I'm being indulgent by not correcting them. I wonder if I buffer some corrections because they've already been through so much. Then I realize with relative certainty that if Brian was still on this side of Heaven, neither one of us would see the need for them to correctly say marshmallows or long pants. We would sit back and giggle to ourselves, together.
They grow up so fast, I think it's important to enjoy them, right where they're at!
At 5 & 3 1/2 they both have incredible vocabularies for their ages. But there are a couple of things, they just don't get quite right. Nothing terribly outrageous, just a couple things I get a chuckle over.
Today's heavy Spring snow brought about the "need" for a round of hot chocolate. Of course the boys like their chocolate lukewarm and it doesn't even count if marshmallows aren't added! The funny thing is, Grant, who can name an outrageous list of dinosaurs by their full scientific names doesn't say marshmallow right. He says "smarshmallows." Is he capable of saying it right? Of course! Am I about to correct him? No way! :)
Then there's Isaac. Every time the boys are choosing outfits, the first question that comes up is, "Do we need long sleeved or short sleeved shirts?" Most of the last week short sleeves were perfect but the temp dropped yesterday. Although they have been wearing long pants for months now, Isaac's followup question is generally, "Do we need long sleeved pants, too?" Grant will question, "Long sleeved pants?" knowing it's not quite right. However I just answer, "Yes, wear your long sleeved pants!"
Both boys are perfectly capable of correcting these words and learning these concepts. I know it. Sometimes I wonder if I'm being indulgent by not correcting them. I wonder if I buffer some corrections because they've already been through so much. Then I realize with relative certainty that if Brian was still on this side of Heaven, neither one of us would see the need for them to correctly say marshmallows or long pants. We would sit back and giggle to ourselves, together.
They grow up so fast, I think it's important to enjoy them, right where they're at!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Muffins with Moms aka What about Bob?
Today was Muffins with Moms day at the boys preschool. Rather than head straight to work, we all skipped breakfast this morning and I headed to school with the boys and even made it on time, 15 minutes before the start of their regular day. The boys were so glad I could be there and I really was too. Since it was "Muffin Day" for both boys classes, I planned to split these special 30 minutes between the two classes.
During the first 15 minutes I enjoyed a few bites of Isaac's muffin, then wrote our names and doodled a doggy picture on the paper table cloth his teachers had provided for us to draw on. We both could have easily eaten one muffin each but I chose to follow along with the obvious unwritten rule about moms not partaking of whole muffins in front of other moms. Seriously, I didn't see a single mom in either class take more than a pinch or two of their child's muffin. No mom, including myself (for some odd reason) took a muffin for ourselves even though it was obvious by the quantity available that it was intended for everyone to have muffins. It was kind of funny, I find myself very self conscious going into this type of parents event knowing that I am fairly likely to be the only single mom there and definitely likely to be the only widow but apparently the other moms are self conscious too. Apparently so much so that we don't eat muffins!
Anyway, about Bob...
When I got to Grant's class, each child had made a very special gift for their mom. They were really so cute. Somewhere the teacher had found mouse pads with a 2010 calendar as a frame around the edge and a place to insert a picture. The children were given a paper with the Bible verse "Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6 and told to draw a picture of their mom to put in the frame. The assistant teacher in Grant's class shared the conversation with me that she had with Grant as he created his work of art.
Their conversation went something like this:
"Grant, I see that you drew your Mommy, but what is this?"
"It's the ladder for my bunk bed."
"Oh, I see. Are you finished now since you have already drawn your Mommy?"
"No, I've got to draw Bob."
"You've got to draw Bob? Grant, this picture is for your Mommy, you just need to draw her."
"No, Bob's at our house and my mommy likes him. I like Bob too. I need to draw Bob."
Then Grant pulled out a blue crayon and proceeded to draw Bob.
Thankfully, his teacher recognized him as the jello-like character from the movie "Monsters vs. Aliens"!
Sometime I'll have to take a picture of my mousepad and load it here, it really is something else and a very special treasure. It also means a lot to me to know that Grant likes the movie he got for his birthday and treasures the time we spend together snuggled up and watching it. I guess for that reason, we both like "Bob"!
During the first 15 minutes I enjoyed a few bites of Isaac's muffin, then wrote our names and doodled a doggy picture on the paper table cloth his teachers had provided for us to draw on. We both could have easily eaten one muffin each but I chose to follow along with the obvious unwritten rule about moms not partaking of whole muffins in front of other moms. Seriously, I didn't see a single mom in either class take more than a pinch or two of their child's muffin. No mom, including myself (for some odd reason) took a muffin for ourselves even though it was obvious by the quantity available that it was intended for everyone to have muffins. It was kind of funny, I find myself very self conscious going into this type of parents event knowing that I am fairly likely to be the only single mom there and definitely likely to be the only widow but apparently the other moms are self conscious too. Apparently so much so that we don't eat muffins!
Anyway, about Bob...
When I got to Grant's class, each child had made a very special gift for their mom. They were really so cute. Somewhere the teacher had found mouse pads with a 2010 calendar as a frame around the edge and a place to insert a picture. The children were given a paper with the Bible verse "Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6 and told to draw a picture of their mom to put in the frame. The assistant teacher in Grant's class shared the conversation with me that she had with Grant as he created his work of art.
Their conversation went something like this:
"Grant, I see that you drew your Mommy, but what is this?"
"It's the ladder for my bunk bed."
"Oh, I see. Are you finished now since you have already drawn your Mommy?"
"No, I've got to draw Bob."
"You've got to draw Bob? Grant, this picture is for your Mommy, you just need to draw her."
"No, Bob's at our house and my mommy likes him. I like Bob too. I need to draw Bob."
Then Grant pulled out a blue crayon and proceeded to draw Bob.
Thankfully, his teacher recognized him as the jello-like character from the movie "Monsters vs. Aliens"!
Sometime I'll have to take a picture of my mousepad and load it here, it really is something else and a very special treasure. It also means a lot to me to know that Grant likes the movie he got for his birthday and treasures the time we spend together snuggled up and watching it. I guess for that reason, we both like "Bob"!
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Happy Birthday Baby!
Well, I didn't get the second "Possibly Annual BBQ" together for this weekend like I had with the first one that occurred last year. Maybe it just wasn't the right time this time. Maybe we can still throw one together later this summer, just because.
We spent this weekend with family, in from out of town, and it was really nice. Other people spent time this weekend celebrating BIG wedding anniversaries and expected births. I know - I made their cakes! Our company left before church and this afternoon, especially in the quiet of this evening, I've spent lots of time deep in thought.
Today was Brian's birthday. He would have been 49 but he's missed the last two.
I keep thinking we'll do something special to commemorate the day, but today I chickened out. We talk about him here daily and I had neatly marked the day on Grant's calendar but I didn't point it out or even mention it to the boys.
Most of today's events weren't much different than any other given Sunday. But today, even more than most days, I've thought of Brian. In my heart, I miss him. In my mind, I celebrate his life and the time we had together. Sometimes I can still hear his laughter, knowing how my "occasional" backward approach of things would leave him smiling and shaking his head. And every day I see him in our two beautiful boys.
I take comfort knowing that today was a great day for Brian. I believe the last two birthdays have been the best he's ever had! It's hard for me to comprehend that he's no longer tracking the calendar but I know today, like every day, he is celebrating eternal life in the glory of God's presence!
Happy Birthday Baby!
We spent this weekend with family, in from out of town, and it was really nice. Other people spent time this weekend celebrating BIG wedding anniversaries and expected births. I know - I made their cakes! Our company left before church and this afternoon, especially in the quiet of this evening, I've spent lots of time deep in thought.
Today was Brian's birthday. He would have been 49 but he's missed the last two.
I keep thinking we'll do something special to commemorate the day, but today I chickened out. We talk about him here daily and I had neatly marked the day on Grant's calendar but I didn't point it out or even mention it to the boys.
Most of today's events weren't much different than any other given Sunday. But today, even more than most days, I've thought of Brian. In my heart, I miss him. In my mind, I celebrate his life and the time we had together. Sometimes I can still hear his laughter, knowing how my "occasional" backward approach of things would leave him smiling and shaking his head. And every day I see him in our two beautiful boys.
I take comfort knowing that today was a great day for Brian. I believe the last two birthdays have been the best he's ever had! It's hard for me to comprehend that he's no longer tracking the calendar but I know today, like every day, he is celebrating eternal life in the glory of God's presence!
Happy Birthday Baby!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
What do you remember?
Brian died 1 year ago tomorrow. Today it seems like this year has absolutely flown by!
Somewhere in this disorganized house is a notebook. It contains a list of the events of March 25, 2008 and the people that shared them with us in one way or another. I knew the emotions were so intense that my memory would most likely be cloudy. Someday I'll pull it out and review it myself, and maybe I'll even share it eventually. I do know I regret that I didn't keep up with it at least a little bit longer. There were lots of cloudy details, especially early on.
There are things I've accomplished and decisions I've made this year that I never knew I would need to think about and things I've let slide that I used to think were more important. The boys are growing and changing every day and I'm about a million posts behind on how interesting and sometimes crazy any given day turns out. God is good and we still see His hand in our lives continuously no matter how the circumstances vary. I think I learn something new almost daily - whether I want to or not!
Anyway, I know somewhere I have some memories captured in a notebook. I've heard from some what that day was to them and how they remember Brian. So where were you that day? How did you find out? What was your reaction? How did you feel? Who did you tell? Who is Brian to you and what do you miss the most? Do you have a favorite memory? What would you like his boys to know about him?
Whether or not you generally comment on blogs please think about these questions and take the time today. Leave a comment or if you don't want to share with the world, send me an email. I want to make sure these boys remember their Daddy always and would love them to see him through eyes other than my own.
Thanks so much!
God Bless,
Amber :)
Somewhere in this disorganized house is a notebook. It contains a list of the events of March 25, 2008 and the people that shared them with us in one way or another. I knew the emotions were so intense that my memory would most likely be cloudy. Someday I'll pull it out and review it myself, and maybe I'll even share it eventually. I do know I regret that I didn't keep up with it at least a little bit longer. There were lots of cloudy details, especially early on.
There are things I've accomplished and decisions I've made this year that I never knew I would need to think about and things I've let slide that I used to think were more important. The boys are growing and changing every day and I'm about a million posts behind on how interesting and sometimes crazy any given day turns out. God is good and we still see His hand in our lives continuously no matter how the circumstances vary. I think I learn something new almost daily - whether I want to or not!
Anyway, I know somewhere I have some memories captured in a notebook. I've heard from some what that day was to them and how they remember Brian. So where were you that day? How did you find out? What was your reaction? How did you feel? Who did you tell? Who is Brian to you and what do you miss the most? Do you have a favorite memory? What would you like his boys to know about him?
Whether or not you generally comment on blogs please think about these questions and take the time today. Leave a comment or if you don't want to share with the world, send me an email. I want to make sure these boys remember their Daddy always and would love them to see him through eyes other than my own.
Thanks so much!
God Bless,
Amber :)
Monday, January 12, 2009
Ornery Up to His Ears - Literally!
Yep, it's been forever since I've posted. Though I've been a bit short on time and energy through the holidays, the boys haven't left me a bit short of material to write about! I finally decided I'm just going to have to start now and go forward from here. Maybe we'll have a slow day somewhere along the way and I can fill in with some of what's been going on in the mean time.
If you know my boys at all, you can guess by the title who the main character in this story will be!
This Saturday started out pretty relaxed. A friend came over in the afternoon and hung out with the boys while I did some work around the house and ran an errand. Later in the afternoon I started making homemade soft pretzels with the boys. They love to help me in the kitchen and are pretty good at it too! Once we got the dough mixed up it needed to rise a bit before we portioned it out to shape our pretzels. I left the room for a bit to work on something or another.
After just a few minutes, I came back to the kitchen and began to set things up for the boys to roll out the pretzels and shape them. Things were going great and they were fairly patient and very cooperative. Once the dough was ready and I had everything set up, they sat down to their table and got to work. We made 20 pretzels in assorted letter, snake, squiggle and smooshy shapes. I painted on the egg wash and the boys began to sprinkle some with cinnamon and sugar and some with coarse salt. Then I noticed it.
Isaac had a touch of dark red, just inside his ear and on his face just in front of his ear. My heart sunk. Since September the boys have been on at least 3 rounds of antibiotics each for ear infections. Some have been bad enough the pediatrician has warned the eardrum may rupture. So far we had avoided it, but here it was late Saturday afternoon and things weren't looking so good. I started praying and decided that for the moment, he seemed content and they were both working together so nicely that I couldn't stand to interrupt. I would put my panic on hold and review the situation a few minutes later when the pretzels were made out. As they finished, I also noticed some red on Isaac's finger and was sure it was from touching his ear since it must have been terribly uncomfortable. We wrapped things up and with utmost concern, I asked Isaac "What happened to your ear?" Without a moments hesitation Grant pipes up on his brother's behalf, "It's some of your paint Mommy, off your computer. Isaac was pretending it was his ear medicine!!!"
Silly me! Why didn't I think of that? Because the fabric paint in my computer cabinet was behind closed doors. And you know I always let him give himself medicine! So of course he would think it was a great idea to open the cabinet, pull out the red paint, put the dropper tip in his ear and try to apply like ear drops!!! Yikes! Where does he get these ideas? If I had been sitting on the other side of him I could have avoided all of the panic. His left ear was painted from top to bottom as well as some of his hair. It was pretty obvious from that side that he wasn't suffering from anything but an acute case of orneriness!
Did you know it takes fingernail polish remover to get that stuff off when it dries on the skin and in hair? I'm only mentioning this to save you some time and trouble if you have a little one anything like my Isaac!
You all take care!
If you know my boys at all, you can guess by the title who the main character in this story will be!
This Saturday started out pretty relaxed. A friend came over in the afternoon and hung out with the boys while I did some work around the house and ran an errand. Later in the afternoon I started making homemade soft pretzels with the boys. They love to help me in the kitchen and are pretty good at it too! Once we got the dough mixed up it needed to rise a bit before we portioned it out to shape our pretzels. I left the room for a bit to work on something or another.
After just a few minutes, I came back to the kitchen and began to set things up for the boys to roll out the pretzels and shape them. Things were going great and they were fairly patient and very cooperative. Once the dough was ready and I had everything set up, they sat down to their table and got to work. We made 20 pretzels in assorted letter, snake, squiggle and smooshy shapes. I painted on the egg wash and the boys began to sprinkle some with cinnamon and sugar and some with coarse salt. Then I noticed it.
Isaac had a touch of dark red, just inside his ear and on his face just in front of his ear. My heart sunk. Since September the boys have been on at least 3 rounds of antibiotics each for ear infections. Some have been bad enough the pediatrician has warned the eardrum may rupture. So far we had avoided it, but here it was late Saturday afternoon and things weren't looking so good. I started praying and decided that for the moment, he seemed content and they were both working together so nicely that I couldn't stand to interrupt. I would put my panic on hold and review the situation a few minutes later when the pretzels were made out. As they finished, I also noticed some red on Isaac's finger and was sure it was from touching his ear since it must have been terribly uncomfortable. We wrapped things up and with utmost concern, I asked Isaac "What happened to your ear?" Without a moments hesitation Grant pipes up on his brother's behalf, "It's some of your paint Mommy, off your computer. Isaac was pretending it was his ear medicine!!!"
Silly me! Why didn't I think of that? Because the fabric paint in my computer cabinet was behind closed doors. And you know I always let him give himself medicine! So of course he would think it was a great idea to open the cabinet, pull out the red paint, put the dropper tip in his ear and try to apply like ear drops!!! Yikes! Where does he get these ideas? If I had been sitting on the other side of him I could have avoided all of the panic. His left ear was painted from top to bottom as well as some of his hair. It was pretty obvious from that side that he wasn't suffering from anything but an acute case of orneriness!
Did you know it takes fingernail polish remover to get that stuff off when it dries on the skin and in hair? I'm only mentioning this to save you some time and trouble if you have a little one anything like my Isaac!
You all take care!
Friday, November 21, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Sharing My Life Message
I've been using The Purpose Driven Life Daily Devotional. It is loaded with scripture and is direct, practical and applicable to daily life. Today's devotional was titled "Sharing Your Life Message." I thought that was pretty appropriate since that's more or less what I'm doing here, one day at a time. It seems like every email contains something I need to hear. Anyway, I get an awful lot from it and just wanted to share in case you're interested.
Here's a link to check it out. http://www.purposedrivenlife.com/en-US/FreeTools/devotional/todaysDevo/Devotional.htm
If you want to sign up to receive the free daily devotional there should be a "subscription" link towards the top left of the page.
I just wanted to share. I hope you get as much out of it as I do!
God Bless!
Here's a link to check it out. http://www.purposedrivenlife.com/en-US/FreeTools/devotional/todaysDevo/Devotional.htm
If you want to sign up to receive the free daily devotional there should be a "subscription" link towards the top left of the page.
I just wanted to share. I hope you get as much out of it as I do!
God Bless!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Fa la la la blah
Oops! It's been a while again!
Tonight I'm sorting through our Christmas decorations. Last year Brian and I decided that we weren't going to continue to store all of the Christmas stuff that we don't use. We knew that there wasn't much demand for it in January so we decided to stow it in the attic one more year. The goal was to pull it all down by my birthday and to have anything we no longer wanted sorted and prepared to sell or donate by Thanksgiving. Although I'm behind on most things, I actually got all of this down, with the help of a friend, on Sat, Nov 1st.
I've just really started going through things and am trying to get through as much as possible tonight since there's a donation pick up in our neighborhood tomorrow. Don't tell Dad, but I've put out at least 4 Christmas trees of assorted shapes and sizes. I've also put out several coats since we still had tons from living in Missouri and don't wear them too much down here. Some of Brian's work clothes are out there too. I've saved some sentimental things but he was never really into his work clothes. They were just something he had to wear and maybe someone else can use them to get a job or something. The clothes and coats have actually been outside my front door for a couple of weeks. The last group that was scheduled to pick up didn't. After I had jumped the hurdle of sorting through those things and setting them out, I couldn't bring them back in!
Anyway, I've been doing pretty well getting through the old Christmas junk that someone should be able to use but that we haven't used in years. I've set aside some sentimental things to keep along the way. Oddly the ho-hums really set in as I came across some brand new stuff. The last few years, we have had a very elegant tree with snowflakes and ornaments all in silver, white and blue. Last year we planned for a traditional tree this year. We purchased a variety of brightly colored shatter proof ornaments with the intention of the boys doing a lot of the decorating. We also knew they would be making a variety of things to fill in any holes over the next few years.
Now I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. Although we purchased most of them together, I have no memories of using these new ornaments with Brian. He didn't get to see the boys faces when they decorated the main tree for the first time. I know he's in heaven and even the brightest Christmas tree would dim in comparison. He's really not missing anything but I'm missing him. I would like my first memory of decorating the tree with the boys to have him in it. It just really caught me off guard. I have really been trying to prepare my heart and mind for the holidays and for all the traditions surrounding them that he has been a part of. I knew those things would be different. For some reason it seems even harder to think of the new things that we will do. He won't be a part of those new traditions that just pop up on their own. There will be more unexpected bridges to cross.
Hmmm... Every year we buy an ornament for each of the boys that reminds us of them and to help us remember what they really like at the time. Maybe this year we'll start a new tradition of buying an ornament that reminds us of Brian.
Tonight I'm sorting through our Christmas decorations. Last year Brian and I decided that we weren't going to continue to store all of the Christmas stuff that we don't use. We knew that there wasn't much demand for it in January so we decided to stow it in the attic one more year. The goal was to pull it all down by my birthday and to have anything we no longer wanted sorted and prepared to sell or donate by Thanksgiving. Although I'm behind on most things, I actually got all of this down, with the help of a friend, on Sat, Nov 1st.
I've just really started going through things and am trying to get through as much as possible tonight since there's a donation pick up in our neighborhood tomorrow. Don't tell Dad, but I've put out at least 4 Christmas trees of assorted shapes and sizes. I've also put out several coats since we still had tons from living in Missouri and don't wear them too much down here. Some of Brian's work clothes are out there too. I've saved some sentimental things but he was never really into his work clothes. They were just something he had to wear and maybe someone else can use them to get a job or something. The clothes and coats have actually been outside my front door for a couple of weeks. The last group that was scheduled to pick up didn't. After I had jumped the hurdle of sorting through those things and setting them out, I couldn't bring them back in!
Anyway, I've been doing pretty well getting through the old Christmas junk that someone should be able to use but that we haven't used in years. I've set aside some sentimental things to keep along the way. Oddly the ho-hums really set in as I came across some brand new stuff. The last few years, we have had a very elegant tree with snowflakes and ornaments all in silver, white and blue. Last year we planned for a traditional tree this year. We purchased a variety of brightly colored shatter proof ornaments with the intention of the boys doing a lot of the decorating. We also knew they would be making a variety of things to fill in any holes over the next few years.
Now I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. Although we purchased most of them together, I have no memories of using these new ornaments with Brian. He didn't get to see the boys faces when they decorated the main tree for the first time. I know he's in heaven and even the brightest Christmas tree would dim in comparison. He's really not missing anything but I'm missing him. I would like my first memory of decorating the tree with the boys to have him in it. It just really caught me off guard. I have really been trying to prepare my heart and mind for the holidays and for all the traditions surrounding them that he has been a part of. I knew those things would be different. For some reason it seems even harder to think of the new things that we will do. He won't be a part of those new traditions that just pop up on their own. There will be more unexpected bridges to cross.
Hmmm... Every year we buy an ornament for each of the boys that reminds us of them and to help us remember what they really like at the time. Maybe this year we'll start a new tradition of buying an ornament that reminds us of Brian.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
I'm Changing My Name!!!
It starts every morning the moment they wake up. "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" Grant has so many, many things to say on any given day. For some reason he just can't start right out and tell me what's on his mind. He feels the need to start every sentence by saying Mommy repeatedly until I've responded at least twice before he will go on and complete his thought. Of course little brothers have a tendency to think they should do what big brothers do so even though he's a man of few words, Isaac is also picking up this habit. Both boys are fighting with allergies or a cold so this evening so was filled with whiny versions of "Mommy," as well as a good deal of crankiness and some clinginess too!
Grant is going through another one of those phases where his bed seems to be made of rubber and every time I tuck him in it seems that he just bounces right back out again. He likes his blanket to be just so and will beg me to straighten it every time he gets back in bed. Once or twice is ok but this too can get old fast. Tonight was one of my 2 nights a week to babysit and the baby was going to sleep while Grant was still having a fit over his blanket. He had already been in enough trouble that he stayed in bed but continued to yell, "Mommy! at random intervals. Of course he managed to wake Isaac who had been sleeping peacefully in the next room. Isaac began to cry "Mommy!" This was only fuel to Grant. Every time Isaac cried out "Mommy!" Grant responded with, "MY Mommy!" Then Isaac would cry out again. Thankfully the little guy I watch can be pretty good at tuning out bigger boys that are being rotten! He went on to sleep. Whew! I wound up rocking Isaac a bit since he had gotten pretty worked up and finally convinced Grant he was on his own with his blanket and that Mommy's patience was worn thin enough that he probably shouldn't wake Isaac or the baby.
I've wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember but occasionally the sound of "Mommy!" becomes like fingernails on a chalkboard. Periodically, on a day like today, I threaten to stop answering to Mommy and consider changing my name entirely. When I made this threat once this summer, a good friend told me that as many times as I hear "Mommy" in any given day, he's surprised I remember to answer to Amber. He's probably got a good point! Anyway, I do love my boys and am proud to be their Mommy. I am also really glad they are finally both asleep!
Grant is going through another one of those phases where his bed seems to be made of rubber and every time I tuck him in it seems that he just bounces right back out again. He likes his blanket to be just so and will beg me to straighten it every time he gets back in bed. Once or twice is ok but this too can get old fast. Tonight was one of my 2 nights a week to babysit and the baby was going to sleep while Grant was still having a fit over his blanket. He had already been in enough trouble that he stayed in bed but continued to yell, "Mommy! at random intervals. Of course he managed to wake Isaac who had been sleeping peacefully in the next room. Isaac began to cry "Mommy!" This was only fuel to Grant. Every time Isaac cried out "Mommy!" Grant responded with, "MY Mommy!" Then Isaac would cry out again. Thankfully the little guy I watch can be pretty good at tuning out bigger boys that are being rotten! He went on to sleep. Whew! I wound up rocking Isaac a bit since he had gotten pretty worked up and finally convinced Grant he was on his own with his blanket and that Mommy's patience was worn thin enough that he probably shouldn't wake Isaac or the baby.
I've wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember but occasionally the sound of "Mommy!" becomes like fingernails on a chalkboard. Periodically, on a day like today, I threaten to stop answering to Mommy and consider changing my name entirely. When I made this threat once this summer, a good friend told me that as many times as I hear "Mommy" in any given day, he's surprised I remember to answer to Amber. He's probably got a good point! Anyway, I do love my boys and am proud to be their Mommy. I am also really glad they are finally both asleep!
Monday, November 10, 2008
That Song Is Stuck In My Head
Grant has been in bed for about 30 minutes and he's been out 3 times to tell me that he hears the alphabet song (aka the phonics song) over and over. Although I'm getting frustrated that he won't stay in bed, he's been so funny trying to explain it to me.
Did you ever just have one of those songs stuck in your head? This poor kid is definitely my son! I can't even tell you how many times I have disturbed Brian's sleep to share a song with him that was keeping me up. Often it was some repetitive preschool song that would just stick but there have been songs of all kinds. Sometimes I would even sing it for him if he wasn't familiar with it to make sure he understood. He generally thanked me later for getting the same song stuck in his head! :)
As I was writing I was thinking how I feel kind of bad for waking him for such silly things. But as I think it over a bit more, I'm really glad I did. Those few extra minutes here and there make up more moments and memories I have to treasure when we were talking instead of just sleeping.
And for what it's worth, my advice to Grant, "Sorry Son. Sometimes Mommy gets songs stuck in her head too. You can either sing something else or just listen to it until you fall asleep!"
Did you ever just have one of those songs stuck in your head? This poor kid is definitely my son! I can't even tell you how many times I have disturbed Brian's sleep to share a song with him that was keeping me up. Often it was some repetitive preschool song that would just stick but there have been songs of all kinds. Sometimes I would even sing it for him if he wasn't familiar with it to make sure he understood. He generally thanked me later for getting the same song stuck in his head! :)
As I was writing I was thinking how I feel kind of bad for waking him for such silly things. But as I think it over a bit more, I'm really glad I did. Those few extra minutes here and there make up more moments and memories I have to treasure when we were talking instead of just sleeping.
And for what it's worth, my advice to Grant, "Sorry Son. Sometimes Mommy gets songs stuck in her head too. You can either sing something else or just listen to it until you fall asleep!"
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Helium Heights
Tonight we went to a surprise birthday party for a friend that will soon turn 30. I've known about it for a long time and am glad to have that secret out! Whew! It was for my friend's husband and was thrown for him by his two sons, the same age as mine. The invitation and theme was Dallas cowboys for their hero, their Daddy. I made the cake for the party, even though it really went against my beliefs to ice a jersey in those colors. (Go Chiefs!) Anyway, I was writing about heroes and Daddies along the side of the cake when Grant started asking me about it. He wants to read so badly these days that he has to know what everything says! I was already struggling with it all myself but was further deflated when I had to explain it to him. It was quite a night. I was dragging my feet. As much as I love my friends sometimes it's really hard to celebrate with others what they have but you've lost. Beyond the emotional struggle I was facing, we were running late, I forgot the candles, and I couldn't seem to find the location. If I hadn't had the cake we probably would have gone through a drive through and called it a night. Anyway, we eventually did get there. We survived and we even had some fun. I think it meant something to our friends that we were there and I'm glad we went.
Finally, here's the best part of the story. First off, after eating some cake, the boys were both blue from here to there and had the best blue smiles! Hopefully I can get one of those pics to post for you sometime. The funniest thing happened after we got home though. Both boys had been offered 2 balloons each to bring home. They were both quite excited but after I looped Isaac's around his arm, he was done and wanted nothing to do with them. We wound up leaving his there and just brought home Grant's two. Of course, after we got home, Isaac really wanted his own balloon. Thankfully Grant is generally a pretty good big brother and he was willing to share one of his.
Somehow I hadn't realized that Isaac had never really played with a helium balloon. The ribbon was really long on it and he could reach it even if the balloon floated all the way to the ceiling. He just didn't quite grasp the concept though. If he lost his grip on the balloon itself he would frantically grab the ribbon and throw himself down to the ground yelling "HELP ME!" He really wasn't happy unless he had the balloon itself in his hands. Generally he loves to bounce a regular balloon around and we try to keep them in the air. From time to time he would forget and attempt to bounce the helium balloon. It would just bounce all the way up and he would have a fit over it all over again. He couldn't quite grasp how to pull on the ribbon hand over hand until he had reached the balloon. I'm sure his two year old reasoning was even further impaired by the fact that this was all happening about and hour and a half after his regular bedtime. It was like in his mind the silly thing just kept falling up. The last straw for the poor little sleepy guy was when I was getting ready to tuck him into bed and he went over and gently placed his balloon in the toy bin for safe keeping. Of course the moment he let go, it floated straight up. He just started bawling and I asked if it would be ok for Mommy to keep the balloon in her room for the night. Surprisingly he agreed. For once I really won't be disappointed when a helium balloon ceases to float. I'm pretty sure Isaac won't either - but who knows! By tomorrow he may have a different point of view entirely. Whatever he decides, he's Isaac and he'll be just as determined that it should go his way!
Finally, here's the best part of the story. First off, after eating some cake, the boys were both blue from here to there and had the best blue smiles! Hopefully I can get one of those pics to post for you sometime. The funniest thing happened after we got home though. Both boys had been offered 2 balloons each to bring home. They were both quite excited but after I looped Isaac's around his arm, he was done and wanted nothing to do with them. We wound up leaving his there and just brought home Grant's two. Of course, after we got home, Isaac really wanted his own balloon. Thankfully Grant is generally a pretty good big brother and he was willing to share one of his.
Somehow I hadn't realized that Isaac had never really played with a helium balloon. The ribbon was really long on it and he could reach it even if the balloon floated all the way to the ceiling. He just didn't quite grasp the concept though. If he lost his grip on the balloon itself he would frantically grab the ribbon and throw himself down to the ground yelling "HELP ME!" He really wasn't happy unless he had the balloon itself in his hands. Generally he loves to bounce a regular balloon around and we try to keep them in the air. From time to time he would forget and attempt to bounce the helium balloon. It would just bounce all the way up and he would have a fit over it all over again. He couldn't quite grasp how to pull on the ribbon hand over hand until he had reached the balloon. I'm sure his two year old reasoning was even further impaired by the fact that this was all happening about and hour and a half after his regular bedtime. It was like in his mind the silly thing just kept falling up. The last straw for the poor little sleepy guy was when I was getting ready to tuck him into bed and he went over and gently placed his balloon in the toy bin for safe keeping. Of course the moment he let go, it floated straight up. He just started bawling and I asked if it would be ok for Mommy to keep the balloon in her room for the night. Surprisingly he agreed. For once I really won't be disappointed when a helium balloon ceases to float. I'm pretty sure Isaac won't either - but who knows! By tomorrow he may have a different point of view entirely. Whatever he decides, he's Isaac and he'll be just as determined that it should go his way!
Nov 6-8
Sorry, I posted daily for 3 whole days and haven't done so well since. As with everything else, this is a work in progress. Please bear with me!
Anyway, truth be told, I probably haven't written because I've had a few down days lately. I haven't had any particularly cute stories to tell and so many people have done so many nice things for me this week due to my birthday that I should be thrilled. But as I've told a few good friends, sometimes the best days are the hardest. On the very best days I want to come home and tell my best friend about the wonderful things people have done for me. Then I remember how much I miss him. And the quiet closes in after the boys head to bed.
It's hard to write that kind of stuff down. I know some people really want to know how I'm doing or are in a similar situation so I'll try my best to share the tears as well as the laughter.
Thanks for reading!
Anyway, truth be told, I probably haven't written because I've had a few down days lately. I haven't had any particularly cute stories to tell and so many people have done so many nice things for me this week due to my birthday that I should be thrilled. But as I've told a few good friends, sometimes the best days are the hardest. On the very best days I want to come home and tell my best friend about the wonderful things people have done for me. Then I remember how much I miss him. And the quiet closes in after the boys head to bed.
It's hard to write that kind of stuff down. I know some people really want to know how I'm doing or are in a similar situation so I'll try my best to share the tears as well as the laughter.
Thanks for reading!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
My First Birthday
Nope, no one here is turning one. Today is my first birthday without Brian. I'm not even sure where to start. I don't really have any super cute little boy stories. This one's more about me.
Much to my surprise, I actually dreaded my birthday less than I have most occasions that have come about since March 25th. I did feel a bit down last night but I also felt really tired so I'm not sure which was really the issue. I've been struggling with what or how much I should do to celebrate today. I didn't want to ignore it entirely. Little boys should know that mommies have birthdays, too. But I couldn't bring myself to take them out and buy a gift for me either. I settled on marking it down on Grant's calendar along with any other holidays or special occasions we look forward to. We try to mark off the day each night at bedtime and take a look at what's coming up in the days ahead. Even though I forgot to mark off yesterday, Grant remembered and met me at my bedroom door this morning singing "Happy Birthday." It was so sweet and definitely beat starting the day off with alarms!
On Grant's birthday we made a big deal of stopping at the donut shop on our way to work and school. Everyone got to pick out their own donut and the lady behind the counter even threw in four donut holes since it was Grant's 4th birthday. This morning I contemplated the thought and decided it would be a good tradition for all of us so today we stopped for me. The boys were both thrilled to pick out donuts with Christmas sprinkles on them (already?) and I was thrilled they didn't throw in donut holes for my birthday. If they had, they might have gone out of business and we would all still be on a sugar high!
Well, I didn't plan extremely well for the donut stop so we were a bit late arriving at school. Grant's class had assembled with a few other classes to say their pledges and sing the school song. As I signed him in, one teacher pointed out that it was my birthday and before I knew it the whole bunch of 4 and 5 year olds were singing "Happy Birthday" for me. It was embarrassing but sweet and my tears overflowed. A friend began to apologize and I know she's not the only one that had concern over tears I shed at different times today. Most of today's tears weren't from sadness or thoughts of what might have been. They were tears of joy and gratitude and awe. Sometimes people go so far above and beyond anything I expect or deserve that I'm so overwhelmed and my heart is so full that the tears just spill over.
When I got to my office there were 20+ helium balloons in every color of the rainbow scattered across the ceiling and several gift bags on my desk. Throughout the day I've gotten phone calls from my Mother, my brother, my niece, my Dad. Even my boys best friends called and sang to me today! I was treated to lunch with a friend, by another friend. Tonite the boys "treated" me to dinner, courtesy of a couple of giftcards we had recieved a while back. I've gotten thoughtful cards and personal notes and kind and generous gifts. I've received text messages, emails, ecards and several have written on my wall at Facebook. Of all the amazing thoughts, sentiments and gifts I've been given, the most amazing to me was the opportunity God gave me to grow on my birthday.
This morning friends of mine rushed to the hospital with a sick little one. The latest update was that Mom, Dad, baby and older brother (Grant's age) were all at the ER. There was a concerned buzz going around that the older brother might have been stuck at the hospital waiting things out with the family. Several people were willing to go pick him up but no one could reach Mom and Dad to get the ok. When I found out they were at a hospital so near by, I decided to just go and see if he needed a break or if there was anything I could do. I jumped in the van and headed that way.
Barely out of the church parking lot I remembered going to visit a friend at the hospital a few months back. I had gone with two other friends from church and was looking forward to saying hello and helping to cheer her up in the midst of her long day at the hospital. I went along, we found out her room number and headed up to visit. The minute the elevator doors closed something unexpected happened to me. I felt as if someone sucked every bit of air out of my lungs. I was gripping the bars behind me on the elevator wall as if my life depended on it and I may crumple into a shapeless mass on the floor if I let go. I think my eyes probably bulged and I remember feeling like they were brimming with tears but I wasn't actually crying and the tears weren't going anywhere. I was overcome with panic like I can't ever remember and barely managed to squeak out something like "I'm not ok with this." It was my first visit to a hospital since going to see Brian and finding out he was dead when I got there. It was as if a wave washed over me and I couldn't surface for air. But then the elevator doors opened and I could breath again and the fear and panic passed just as suddenly as it had come on.
Today, I was going alone and was heading to the ER. What was I thinking? I immediately called my Mom and asked her to pray. I knew I needed God's strength to even get through the doors when I got there. I made it. Of course my friends had made sure their oldest was taken care of in the midst of their crisis and he was already out with a friend. But I didn't know that and walked in prepared to help. I was able to offer a hug and a listening ear. I was able to truly understand how it feels to think you can't possibly handle one more thing no matter how many people tell you God will never give you more than you can handle. I should probably look it up myself but is that scriptural or just something we say to make ourselves feel like we have the strength in us to endure? Either way, even though we have and continue to go through different things, I understand that helpless feeling and I think she knew I understood. I hope and pray they will really call me if there is a way I can help sometime. In the mean time, please pray for this little one I know and his parents and big brother. I'm not listing any of their names right now since I would want their permission first but if you pray for them, God will know. Please ask for diagnosis/healing of the little one and peace to other family members.
Anyway, I don't know that I helped much but hopefully I helped some. At the very least I prayed and pushed through some of my fears in attempt to help someone else. I've been reminded in so many nice ways how many people care about me today. At the end of this year of my life I know that I'm not only older but that I have grown, even today. God still has a plan and a purpose for me. And for the record, I believe the truth of the matter is that God never gives us more than He can handle!
Happy Birthday to Me! And God bless the rest of you! :)
Much to my surprise, I actually dreaded my birthday less than I have most occasions that have come about since March 25th. I did feel a bit down last night but I also felt really tired so I'm not sure which was really the issue. I've been struggling with what or how much I should do to celebrate today. I didn't want to ignore it entirely. Little boys should know that mommies have birthdays, too. But I couldn't bring myself to take them out and buy a gift for me either. I settled on marking it down on Grant's calendar along with any other holidays or special occasions we look forward to. We try to mark off the day each night at bedtime and take a look at what's coming up in the days ahead. Even though I forgot to mark off yesterday, Grant remembered and met me at my bedroom door this morning singing "Happy Birthday." It was so sweet and definitely beat starting the day off with alarms!
On Grant's birthday we made a big deal of stopping at the donut shop on our way to work and school. Everyone got to pick out their own donut and the lady behind the counter even threw in four donut holes since it was Grant's 4th birthday. This morning I contemplated the thought and decided it would be a good tradition for all of us so today we stopped for me. The boys were both thrilled to pick out donuts with Christmas sprinkles on them (already?) and I was thrilled they didn't throw in donut holes for my birthday. If they had, they might have gone out of business and we would all still be on a sugar high!
Well, I didn't plan extremely well for the donut stop so we were a bit late arriving at school. Grant's class had assembled with a few other classes to say their pledges and sing the school song. As I signed him in, one teacher pointed out that it was my birthday and before I knew it the whole bunch of 4 and 5 year olds were singing "Happy Birthday" for me. It was embarrassing but sweet and my tears overflowed. A friend began to apologize and I know she's not the only one that had concern over tears I shed at different times today. Most of today's tears weren't from sadness or thoughts of what might have been. They were tears of joy and gratitude and awe. Sometimes people go so far above and beyond anything I expect or deserve that I'm so overwhelmed and my heart is so full that the tears just spill over.
When I got to my office there were 20+ helium balloons in every color of the rainbow scattered across the ceiling and several gift bags on my desk. Throughout the day I've gotten phone calls from my Mother, my brother, my niece, my Dad. Even my boys best friends called and sang to me today! I was treated to lunch with a friend, by another friend. Tonite the boys "treated" me to dinner, courtesy of a couple of giftcards we had recieved a while back. I've gotten thoughtful cards and personal notes and kind and generous gifts. I've received text messages, emails, ecards and several have written on my wall at Facebook. Of all the amazing thoughts, sentiments and gifts I've been given, the most amazing to me was the opportunity God gave me to grow on my birthday.
This morning friends of mine rushed to the hospital with a sick little one. The latest update was that Mom, Dad, baby and older brother (Grant's age) were all at the ER. There was a concerned buzz going around that the older brother might have been stuck at the hospital waiting things out with the family. Several people were willing to go pick him up but no one could reach Mom and Dad to get the ok. When I found out they were at a hospital so near by, I decided to just go and see if he needed a break or if there was anything I could do. I jumped in the van and headed that way.
Barely out of the church parking lot I remembered going to visit a friend at the hospital a few months back. I had gone with two other friends from church and was looking forward to saying hello and helping to cheer her up in the midst of her long day at the hospital. I went along, we found out her room number and headed up to visit. The minute the elevator doors closed something unexpected happened to me. I felt as if someone sucked every bit of air out of my lungs. I was gripping the bars behind me on the elevator wall as if my life depended on it and I may crumple into a shapeless mass on the floor if I let go. I think my eyes probably bulged and I remember feeling like they were brimming with tears but I wasn't actually crying and the tears weren't going anywhere. I was overcome with panic like I can't ever remember and barely managed to squeak out something like "I'm not ok with this." It was my first visit to a hospital since going to see Brian and finding out he was dead when I got there. It was as if a wave washed over me and I couldn't surface for air. But then the elevator doors opened and I could breath again and the fear and panic passed just as suddenly as it had come on.
Today, I was going alone and was heading to the ER. What was I thinking? I immediately called my Mom and asked her to pray. I knew I needed God's strength to even get through the doors when I got there. I made it. Of course my friends had made sure their oldest was taken care of in the midst of their crisis and he was already out with a friend. But I didn't know that and walked in prepared to help. I was able to offer a hug and a listening ear. I was able to truly understand how it feels to think you can't possibly handle one more thing no matter how many people tell you God will never give you more than you can handle. I should probably look it up myself but is that scriptural or just something we say to make ourselves feel like we have the strength in us to endure? Either way, even though we have and continue to go through different things, I understand that helpless feeling and I think she knew I understood. I hope and pray they will really call me if there is a way I can help sometime. In the mean time, please pray for this little one I know and his parents and big brother. I'm not listing any of their names right now since I would want their permission first but if you pray for them, God will know. Please ask for diagnosis/healing of the little one and peace to other family members.
Anyway, I don't know that I helped much but hopefully I helped some. At the very least I prayed and pushed through some of my fears in attempt to help someone else. I've been reminded in so many nice ways how many people care about me today. At the end of this year of my life I know that I'm not only older but that I have grown, even today. God still has a plan and a purpose for me. And for the record, I believe the truth of the matter is that God never gives us more than He can handle!
Happy Birthday to Me! And God bless the rest of you! :)
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
The Alarm Tripping Scream
Wow! Our morning routine is often rushed but generally fairly mundane. Not today! Did you know a 4 year old boy can produce a scream of the exact pitch and frequency to trigger a glass break sensor on a home alarm system? Believe me - it's true!
Today we started our day pretty much like any other day. After I fixed the boys each a bowl of the same type cereal in identical color bowls with the same color spoons things got interesting. First Isaac had wanted to carry his bowl of cereal and milk to the table himself. I chose to avoid the inevitable clean up and carried it for him. If you don't already know it, Isaac is one very determined and very short fused little 2 year old. Not letting him carry his own cereal to the table was completely unacceptable and in his mind, justifiable cause for throwing himself down on the floor in a full blown tantrum. Surprisingly avoiding the drama, Grant stepped around him, sat down to the table and began eating. Of course Grant chose to sit in the exact spot Isaac thought was his. Isaac jumped up to defend his place and they started to bicker back and forth like brothers do. At this point I chose to ignore the whole scene and continued preparing lunches for their day at preschool. Then it happened... Grant let out this incredible scream!
Now I'm ready to get involved. Grant has a tendancy, at least where his brother or mother are involved, to scream or cry the moment something doesn't go his way. He has an amazing vocabulary but it all slips right out of his mind the second he encounters frustration and I'm always reminding him to stop and use words. I didn't get that far this morning. Grant screamed so loud with such a high pitch that it actually tripped the glass break sensors on our alarm system! So as I race around the kitchen counter, Isaac's still having a crying fit, Grant is screaming and crying and our alarm starts blaring in it's own high pitch! Before I can reset the alarm the phone is ringing. Of course the phone is nowhere to be found and the answering machine picks up before I can. I finally got the answering machine turned off, gave the man from the monitoring company the password and convinced him that amidst all the noise we were really ok. I was completely ready to give Grant the business for this outrageous scream when he showed me the mark on his arm where Isaac bit him REALLY HARD. Seriously?! All over a bowl of cereal?!? What a way to start the day.
Anyone still wondering why I'm calling our blog the Funny Farm?
Note - I also got results from Grant's hearing and vision screening at school. His eyes were fine but he didn't pass the hearing screening. He's going to be rescreened in three weeks and we'll get a referral if it doesn't go better next time. I requested the screening because I've had some concern. He's had so many ear infections in the past year and battles allergies and congestion continuously. It's so hard to know when a kid his age isn't listening or isn't hearing. Please pray that he just had some congestion or something this time around and that the next screening goes well. I'll let you all know when we get those results. Thanks!
Today we started our day pretty much like any other day. After I fixed the boys each a bowl of the same type cereal in identical color bowls with the same color spoons things got interesting. First Isaac had wanted to carry his bowl of cereal and milk to the table himself. I chose to avoid the inevitable clean up and carried it for him. If you don't already know it, Isaac is one very determined and very short fused little 2 year old. Not letting him carry his own cereal to the table was completely unacceptable and in his mind, justifiable cause for throwing himself down on the floor in a full blown tantrum. Surprisingly avoiding the drama, Grant stepped around him, sat down to the table and began eating. Of course Grant chose to sit in the exact spot Isaac thought was his. Isaac jumped up to defend his place and they started to bicker back and forth like brothers do. At this point I chose to ignore the whole scene and continued preparing lunches for their day at preschool. Then it happened... Grant let out this incredible scream!
Now I'm ready to get involved. Grant has a tendancy, at least where his brother or mother are involved, to scream or cry the moment something doesn't go his way. He has an amazing vocabulary but it all slips right out of his mind the second he encounters frustration and I'm always reminding him to stop and use words. I didn't get that far this morning. Grant screamed so loud with such a high pitch that it actually tripped the glass break sensors on our alarm system! So as I race around the kitchen counter, Isaac's still having a crying fit, Grant is screaming and crying and our alarm starts blaring in it's own high pitch! Before I can reset the alarm the phone is ringing. Of course the phone is nowhere to be found and the answering machine picks up before I can. I finally got the answering machine turned off, gave the man from the monitoring company the password and convinced him that amidst all the noise we were really ok. I was completely ready to give Grant the business for this outrageous scream when he showed me the mark on his arm where Isaac bit him REALLY HARD. Seriously?! All over a bowl of cereal?!? What a way to start the day.
Anyone still wondering why I'm calling our blog the Funny Farm?
Note - I also got results from Grant's hearing and vision screening at school. His eyes were fine but he didn't pass the hearing screening. He's going to be rescreened in three weeks and we'll get a referral if it doesn't go better next time. I requested the screening because I've had some concern. He's had so many ear infections in the past year and battles allergies and congestion continuously. It's so hard to know when a kid his age isn't listening or isn't hearing. Please pray that he just had some congestion or something this time around and that the next screening goes well. I'll let you all know when we get those results. Thanks!
Monday, November 3, 2008
Playdough In My Pocket
At the end of the day at preschool I headed upstairs to pick up Grant from his class. On the way I pass one teacher that tells me I'll never believe what hes done. She tells me I should really give his teacher a hard time for not keeping a closer eye on him. Shes laughing pretty hard so Im trying my best not to panic but you can't even imagine the scenes of what might have been that were flashing through my mind! When I get to his class his teachers are laughing and apologizing at the same time while collecting playdough from the tables. Grant turned to face me and I begin to quickly scan over him from the face down. Did he draw on his skin or clothes? Miss his mouth at lunch? Wait too late to head to the potty? A new haircut? So many things still rushing through my mind. What has he done? Then I see it. The pocket of his light blue tshirt is a bit stretched out and there are traces of bright orange playdoughh at the top of it. The teachers continue to tell me that they only turned their backs for a second and he had the biggest ball of playdough you could imagine stuffed entirely into that little pocket. They had done their best to remove the bulk of it but of course there are some smudges and crumbles remaining. I turn his pocket wrong side out to remove a few more crumbs. Some things are just too funny to get angry about. I hugged him and reminded him that we play with playdough on the table.
How do boys manage to be so frustrating and so funny all at the same time? Why would he do something so obviously ridiculous? Simple, because in his four year old mind, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im well beyond age four but when I think about it I know Ive also done some ridicoulous things that seemed like a good idea at the time. Im thankful that my Heavenly Father loves me and forgives me even when I make decisions that make about as much sense as walking around with playdough stuffed in my pocket. I'm also reminded that even something that seems harmless at the time can leave smudges and crumbles behind in our lives just like that playdough did in Grant's pocket. I pray that I'll remember this as I make decisions for our future and also that I'll model it well to my boys. After all this is the perfect time for them to learn to make good decisions, when the stakes are only as high as a stained tshirt!
How do boys manage to be so frustrating and so funny all at the same time? Why would he do something so obviously ridiculous? Simple, because in his four year old mind, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im well beyond age four but when I think about it I know Ive also done some ridicoulous things that seemed like a good idea at the time. Im thankful that my Heavenly Father loves me and forgives me even when I make decisions that make about as much sense as walking around with playdough stuffed in my pocket. I'm also reminded that even something that seems harmless at the time can leave smudges and crumbles behind in our lives just like that playdough did in Grant's pocket. I pray that I'll remember this as I make decisions for our future and also that I'll model it well to my boys. After all this is the perfect time for them to learn to make good decisions, when the stakes are only as high as a stained tshirt!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Building Magic Stairs
First off, a quick apology. I'm sorry I haven't done this earlier. I've been contemplating it for the last 7+ months to give anyone interested an opportunity to check in on us as they are interested. Today's lunch conversation just seemed like a good reason to start today.
Well, its Sunday so that means a long day at church for us. We love it, but sometimes its especially long for the boys and if they dont head out with a friend I like to do something fun in the afternoon when when we can. Today we loaded up and headed to the mall after church. The boys love to get their pick of the food court, window shop through the Disney Store and explore the play area.We got lunch, found a table, prayed and began to eat.
Of course we sat at a table for 4 since three of us dont fit at a table for 2. I didn't really think too long or hard about it but it didnt go unnoticed by Grant. Grant looked around and said, "Someone should be sitting by me." I told him I was sitting across from him. He said, "My Daddy should be here." We discussed that we miss him and that sometimes we are sad and wish he was here. Then Grant says, "Mommy, I'm going to build magic stairs so Daddy can climb down from heaven and see us." Wow! It's been a while since this discussion has come up and I was kind of floored. Although I've been struggling a lot lately with how long the first seven months of forever has felt so I shouldn't be surprised that my 4 year old is struggling with Daddy being in heaven forever. We had another good discussion about how wonderful heaven is and how happy Daddy must be there with God and that he's going to stay there. I thought we had covered it all when Grant simply says, "Mommy, how do you build stairs?" And all at once the door closes and our conversation turns to carpentry.
Well, Brian's not coming back and its not our time to go. Sometimes I almost envy Grants ability to ponder and remember and then move right along. Although were not building any stairs, I still hope to grow closer to God through each step of our journey here. And hopefully God will continue to use my boys to help me see how real magic is in the heart of a child.
Thanks for reading. I'll try to get back here soon!
Well, its Sunday so that means a long day at church for us. We love it, but sometimes its especially long for the boys and if they dont head out with a friend I like to do something fun in the afternoon when when we can. Today we loaded up and headed to the mall after church. The boys love to get their pick of the food court, window shop through the Disney Store and explore the play area.We got lunch, found a table, prayed and began to eat.
Of course we sat at a table for 4 since three of us dont fit at a table for 2. I didn't really think too long or hard about it but it didnt go unnoticed by Grant. Grant looked around and said, "Someone should be sitting by me." I told him I was sitting across from him. He said, "My Daddy should be here." We discussed that we miss him and that sometimes we are sad and wish he was here. Then Grant says, "Mommy, I'm going to build magic stairs so Daddy can climb down from heaven and see us." Wow! It's been a while since this discussion has come up and I was kind of floored. Although I've been struggling a lot lately with how long the first seven months of forever has felt so I shouldn't be surprised that my 4 year old is struggling with Daddy being in heaven forever. We had another good discussion about how wonderful heaven is and how happy Daddy must be there with God and that he's going to stay there. I thought we had covered it all when Grant simply says, "Mommy, how do you build stairs?" And all at once the door closes and our conversation turns to carpentry.
Well, Brian's not coming back and its not our time to go. Sometimes I almost envy Grants ability to ponder and remember and then move right along. Although were not building any stairs, I still hope to grow closer to God through each step of our journey here. And hopefully God will continue to use my boys to help me see how real magic is in the heart of a child.
Thanks for reading. I'll try to get back here soon!
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